John Davidson sparked much uproar over his involuntary shouting the N-word – a racial slur – towards the 2026 BAFTA stage where Michael B. Jordan and Delroy Lindo were presenting a Best Effect Visuals award.

The racial slur was part of several outbursts, explained by Davidson, that occurred at the star-studded night due to his Tourette syndrome. 

Breaking his silence over the controversy, he offers a glimpse into what happened inside when he blurted out the offensive words.

“Initially, my tics were noises and movements, but the more nervous I got, the more my tics ramped up. When my coprolalia tics came out, my stomach just dropped.”

“As always, I felt a wave of shame and embarrassment hit me all at once. You want the floor to swallow you up. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to hide — just get away from all the eyes.”

Davidson, who was at the 2026 BAFTA for the film I Swear – loosely inspired by his life – shares that when he shouted the N-word, his stomach churned.

” I was hoping people would understand. My mind was saying: These people have seen the film. They will know I can’t help this. They will know it’s not me. This is exactly why we are here. I was saying in my head, “Please don’t judge me.” Please understand this isn’t who I am.”

The Tourette activist, on his part, diffused the tension in opting out of the venue.

“I was trying to calm myself down, to breathe, but ultimately, I made the decision to leave to not cause any more upset. BAFTA found a private room with a monitor where I watched the rest of the awards.”

Davidson, elsewhere in the interview, also revealed that he personally approached Warner Bros – the studio behind the Sinners – in a bid to apologize directly to Jordan and Lindo.